I’ve always grappled with uncertainty in life. You’d think that after moving around so many times as a kid (and even as an adult), from country to country, city to city; I’d be more adaptable and comfortable with uncertainty. But perhaps it is my open-minded personality that I think of all the possibilities out there, and wonder what the best option is, amongst so many factors in life.
I suppose my life has been filled with a lot of strange circumstances that most people wouldn’t need to deal with. Like my parents moving to a completely foreign country that I’ve never even been to; just as I graduate and get my first job in another country. Or my friends/family being scattered all across the globe. It makes it very difficult to know where home is anymore.
Even now, I’m unsure of so many things in life. Will I be staying in Singapore for a long time more? Will I move back to Australia, or move to another country entirely? Will I still want to work as a dietitian for the rest of my life? If I do, which area of dietetics do I want to work in (clinical, private, research, teaching, food industry, community/public health, digital healthcare, media etc)? Or do I want to study something else or open up a business? When will my boyfriend and I be ready to move to the next stage in life? What if I have kids/a family, would I still be working?
Life has been so unpredictable and I never expected I’d be staying in Singapore for more than a few years. Or been in two cross-cultural relationships here. I suppose this kind of uncertainty and spontaneity in my life makes it beautiful and exciting in its own way, even though it is incredibly daunting as well. I think if not for my parents moving around, I would never have dared move out on my own to a completely new country either. And perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, even though I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, and how different things might have been if my life were more predictable and stable if I stayed in Australia. Sure it has not been easy, but anything worthwhile in life never comes easy. I don’t regret anything about my road less travelled, even if my mind is wandering in uncertainty about the future.