I’ve always grappled with uncertainty in life. You’d think that after moving around so many times as a kid (and even as an adult), from country to country, city to city; I’d be more adaptable and comfortable with uncertainty. But perhaps it is my open-minded personality that I think of all the possibilities out there, and wonder what the best option is, amongst so many factors in life.

I suppose my life has been filled with a lot of strange circumstances that most people wouldn’t need to deal with. Like my parents moving to a completely foreign country that I’ve never even been to; just as I graduate and get my first job in another country. Or my friends/family being scattered all across the globe. It makes it very difficult to know where home is anymore.

Even now, I’m unsure of so many things in life. Will I be staying in Singapore for a long time more? Will I move back to Australia, or move to another country entirely? Will I still want to work as a dietitian for the rest of my life? If I do, which area of dietetics do I want to work in (clinical, private, research, teaching, food industry, community/public health, digital healthcare, media etc)? Or do I want to study something else or open up a business? When will my boyfriend and I be ready to move to the next stage in life? What if I have kids/a family, would I still be working?

Life has been so unpredictable and I never expected I’d be staying in Singapore for more than a few years. Or been in two cross-cultural relationships here. I suppose this kind of uncertainty and spontaneity in my life makes it beautiful and exciting in its own way, even though it is incredibly daunting as well. I think if not for my parents moving around, I would never have dared move out on my own to a completely new country either. And perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, even though I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, and how different things might have been if my life were more predictable and stable if I stayed in Australia. Sure it has not been easy, but anything worthwhile in life never comes easy. I don’t regret anything about my road less travelled, even if my mind is wandering in uncertainty about the future.

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3 thoughts on “Possibilities and uncertainties

  1. Love this entry, B! You know, I think your questions regarding uncertainty is very relatable for all of us. I too have often let my mind wander over all the possibilities, could-be’s, would-be’s, and what-if’s. But then I always have to remind myself that, “you know what, if I’ve managed all those times before, I surely can manage all the incoming challenges too”. And so I keep trotting in the land of uncertainties. I hope you will find your steady state in your land of uncertainties too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You know, I was reading this post, thinking this is similar to the conversation we were having just yesterday about spur of the moment decisions and “winging it”. Sometimes when I’m caught between these two metaphorical paths, I also remind myself that I am a capable person, and even if something goes terribly wrong, it’s always possible to recover and bounce back.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I haven’t been on in a while but wonderful post B! I’ve moved around a lot myself so I know the feeling of uncertainty and latched on to one constant that remained the same throughout my experiences. I think that if it had been different, I wouldn’t be the person I am today so it was all good 😀

    Like

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